I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
