you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
