Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
