Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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