yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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