hotel room ftw
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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