I hate your face
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
