So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize