Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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