I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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