She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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