she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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