Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize