Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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