She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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