i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Fuck appropriateness.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
