dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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