Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
