1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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