Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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