I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is Oprah even human
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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