im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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