I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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