I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize