I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
