he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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