haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize