Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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