I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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