I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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