I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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