I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
