Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
