i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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