Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
