don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
