I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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