There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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