who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize