At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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