I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
whose ass print is on the piano?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
