We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
YAS. BRING CRAB.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
