We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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