I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
