so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
my liver is dry heaving
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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