You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
