This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
