I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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