Cold hands, warm shart.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
