Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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