Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
