you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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