Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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