Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
