Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
