If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
