He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
