Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
