she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
