I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
