She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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