So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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