last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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