Pappa wants mamma naked
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
