I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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