I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
