Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
