he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
